I SEE THROUGH SOMBER EYES
by Vanessa Sgroi
Summary: Spoiler Alert. Tag for Episode 4.19, Jump the Shark. Foundations continue to crack and crumble. A little introspection on Dean's part.


Let me just say first that I didn't particularly care for this episode. I simply do not understand why Kripke felt the need to introduce the concept of a third brother at all. Regardless of the fact that ultimately the boy was dead from the beginning, to me it changes the post-Mary Winchester family dynamic completely--and that makes me sad. No longer will I think of John and Dean and Sam. It will be John, Dean, Sam...and reluctantly, Adam. I realize that I am in the minority on this, but there it is. I won't apologize for feeling betrayed.

Because of my emotional reaction to the episode, I felt compelled to write a tag. I resisted. But the muse won.

Vanessa

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**I See Through Somber Eyes  
****(Tag to **_**Jump the Shark**_**)**

**By: Vanessa Sgroi**

Dean dropped into the driver's seat of the Impala. His clothes now stunk of acrid smoke and a more subtle scent—betrayal. Dad had another child. Another son. One who, it seemed, was apparently more worth his time when he wasn't obsessing over finding the Yellow-Eyed Demon.

All those times Dad took off, leaving him alone while Sam was off doing his thing at Stanford—those times—weren't all for a hunt. No. John Winchester was off playing Daddy to his protected son. Teaching him to play poker and pool for fun—not as a way scam people in order to eat or have a bed in which to sleep. Teaching the boy to drive—in the Impala no less! Taking him to baseball games on his birthday just…just because. He could remember the times he'd begged for Dad to take them somewhere fun or for them to do something special, particularly on Sam's birthday, only to be shot down time and again with cold words about being too busy or having to attend to a hunt. Eventually he'd stopped asking. Had found ways for him and Sammy to make their own fun even if he'd had to skip a few meals to do so.

The words Dean had forced out just now as they burned the boy's body had cut like razors in his throat. He knew he couldn't blame Adam—a boy they'd never truly met—but his throat still felt raw.

He waited for Sam to settle in the passenger seat beside him before cranking the ignition. His fingers tightened on the wheel, knuckles gleaming white. He was angry—couldn't stop it from bubbling inside—angry at John for his betrayal, at his brief spurts of normal with Adam and his mother. _And wasn't it just a hoot that both John and Sam had had their taste of normal however briefly?_ He was angry at Sam for turning into their revenge-driven father—a man the younger Winchester always resented. But most of all—most of all—he was angry at himself failing to see what Sam had seen all those desolate years. John the Bastard. Instead of a flawed but loving man who was doing the best he could. Dean had been blinded by devotion to a parent who deserved none of it.

Dean was a little hurt too. And it was stupid, but there it was. He was hurt that Sam had apparently accepted Adam so effortlessly. His brother had almost seemed delighted to have a new brother. _A better brother?_ Dean had wondered for a while now, especially since the incident with the siren, if his little brother wouldn't just prefer he wasn't around anymore. Maybe Sam had been thinking Adam was the perfect replacement. His head told him he was being ridiculous, but his heart—his heart—was working overtime to thwart that logic.

Shoving everything behind that impenetrable door in his mind once again and mentally throwing the lock, the elder Winchester glanced over at Sam. "How you feeling?"

"Still a little shaky. I guess slit wrists and a hole in your side will do that to you."

"You taking your antibiotics?"

"Of course. I told you I wouldn't take any chances."

Dean's chest tightened at the coolness of his brother's response. It was nothing new and it highlighted just how far apart they'd grown. For every step forward they took toward closing the chasm, they took three back. And the hunter knew he bore a good portion of the blame. Somberness gathered on his shoulders weighing him down. He didn't know what to do anymore. He felt anchorless, adrift.

"You up for a long drive?"

"Yeah. "

"Good 'cause I wanna get far away from this town as quickly as possible."

"Wake me when you want me to drive."

He wouldn't for more reasons than he could admit.

_**Fin**_


End file.
